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ryangunnar

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done [Sep. 2nd, 2006|02:55 am]
ryangunnar
I NEED MY OWN SPACE!!!!!!!  honestly it never works out for me i never tell the girl i like her in time OR she just dosnet like me and you know what...its totally okie cause honnestly im so through with all of this, im not gonna lie I REALLY REALLY liked this girl, but you know thats just life for you and i accept it, but honestly i dont know why i even try or even think fo trying in the first place. Im done, i have nothing more in me and when i think i do, i realize i dont. I know i just created myspace but honestly im done with it, im gonna delete it cause its not like itll ever be up to par...no matter how "special" people deem me to be, I AM NOT. im a failure at school, ima failure at workm im even a failure in my passion....writing and music, but above all im a failure with girls! I dont care if everyone thinks Im a loser cause of this cause atleast theyd be half true, IM DONE w/ everything and im ready to call it wuits, ive never beielved in quitting but i guess i traded in that beielf when i lost hope in myself........sorry............im dead to me
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THE MUTHERFUCKING RETURN!!!!!!!!!!! [Aug. 31st, 2006|01:11 am]
ryangunnar

Yes its finally mutherfucking time.............or is it.......as of latley Ive been thinking quite a bit about this girl, considering shell never read this ill just say her name is Tiffany, she so sweet and gorgeous, but unfortunatly shes back with her ex bf, so thats end of that i guess. Shouldve known better, either way i was gonna come on here and rant about how un important it is to everyone whats going on in my love life! However thats some selfish bullshit my friend have alot going on in thier lives and deserve the time, so instead im taking a less but yet still self indulging priority, lets face it Narish went soft as a marshmellow on me, and Chris is getting mariied and just had a child..................but i glady have met Renato and i think its time.............TIME TO BRING BACK THE MUTHERFUCKING GAME!!!!!! Now considering whats been going on latley declaring the fact that im going back to being a Heartbreaker with my co worker isnt exactly the greatest of ideas but you know what, fuck it. I have soooo much going on in my life and honnestly all this relationship drama is killing me, i need a partner in crime a guy whos a complete asshole and dosent take shit from no one and thats Renato! This weekend bro were gonna fucking have a good time, and fucking tear it up!!!! Now i dont know exactly what me and this guy is capable of so maybe this could be a false alarm but..............if its what i think get ready to fucking play the game WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

p.s-im not gonna lie, im still thinking about her, and i cant sleep cause im so anxious and angry, and maybe she may come around, that alone would be enough for me............until then...........

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NEW LJ!!! THE GAME,JAMES VON DUTCH,ROMEO,MYSELF....THE EVOLUTION [Aug. 4th, 2006|03:10 pm]
ryangunnar
So yeah Im about to head out to another fucking day of working and smoking and doing what it is i fucking do with my life! But as of recently I ve come to realize a value, a value that wasnt evident before! I ve been to a thousand places, I have crossed the paths of thouthsands of faces, and I have gone through great times and even rougher...although the faces change, the spirits remain and they continue to give the way theyve always had. This week I realize forever is not in my blood, I have adapted my heart and soul to every situation i have faced, and through those years I have continued my evolution from a complete asshole, ego tistical and over the top shit disturber callled "THE GAME" (the most fucking fun ive had) and then came my "ROMEO" wannna be stage where I became a writer, i leanred my talent and i discovered my craft(i also scored some hot dates), then came "James Von Dutch" ( and the retarted idea that id be a professional wrestler) I began to follow my dreams I started to find meaning in life and love and I became confident in who I was....and then 2004 happned ( i combined romeo and jvd lol great one TY!) I had the heart broken truly for the first time, I experienced death in its most natural form, and I also for the first time in my whole life, realized what friendship could be like and how much it hurt whenit was said and done! I never thought I d see the day where I could say Ive known someone for 6 years much less even 1! I understand im not a good lover, i understand even more im not a good friend, i dont deny my inabilities to connect with those around me but i have denied my own self from personal growth ive allowed my shield to drop and my inabitions to be directly affected by the people of this world...but before i grow jadded i must realzie ive been put here on earth with a purpose, a will, a way, and a form of inspiration greater then anyone could ask for...those who surround me everyday, i thank those of the great, for the blessing of my friends, but the truth as cruel as it could be is that no one will ever fully get me, i dont know if i ever will let people all the way inside of me.....i am a prisoner of my own will and i am not proud of it but i accept it, ill never be the risktaker i was, or as brave as i once was, or as confident as i was back then but i will be better i will be greater i made a promise to this world and i am dead set on keeping it...i am who i said i was, and forever will be everything you think me not...
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Canada Day [Jul. 1st, 2006|08:24 pm]
ryangunnar
so yeah thanks to the great scehduling techniques, made by the fucking geniuses who manage our store at rogers, not only am i short this paycheck but im not booked for the weekend pay i wanted! Thanks rogers, you fucking cock suckers! ANyways its a nice day to celebrate the acheivements of this wonderfull country, until God and his slut decided to piss all over it! Rain wont stop any good party though, but being a fucking loafter like I am, defiantly dose the the trick. So here I am spending Canadas day alone...again! Fuck do I miss Calgary right now, thanks for making me smile Kelsey I promise you'll see me again! Why do parents insist to cook soup? I know people like it, BUT I DONT! so yeah I guess you can say Im in a sour mood, my mohawk is fallling flat and I feel like Im on a downward spiral, hopefully I get to go to katimavik, especially since i broke my balls to get accepted, I miss smy shan too, even though i saw her 2 days ago, I dont think she sometimes really knows how much I appreciate our friendship, I guess I was never that good at showing it anyways. I love her though, and when I went to Calgary everyone changed andIm gonnna be goen for 9 months I dont want her to forget me or our relationship to change or be different, Im worried about that happening with alot of people, but I guess thats life! Lifes a big pile a shit, all you can do is hang some drapes and call it home!
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So.......... [Jun. 27th, 2006|10:37 pm]
ryangunnar
So yah, pretty fucking down about life! I could probaly sit here and type a whole list of things thats messed up and not going great in my life...but Im so fucking in a rut im too stressed to even talk about it! THANK YOU to my BIG BROTHER RAY! Hes the one guy I know will actually sit there and LISTEN to all my probelms and issues and give me feed back as well as help me out! His support in all areas of my life is so respected, I appreciate him ALOT! Im pretty fucking pissed about my friend Shannons boyfriend who on a regualr basis makes it in to my "what a fucking asshole" books! I dunno what his damn problem is, sometimes I wonder why she even gives him the time of day for all the shit he puts her through, but oh well what can you do! I worry bout her, cause I care for her, I love her alot and Ill always love her just the way she is and I only want her to be treated to the best and not like some slave! Luckily my friend Elles bf is a sweet boy with a sweet ass! none the less I realized that theres something about my life that isnt going right, and the truth is I dont know where Im going or even if I have the right direction! but only time will tell...it seems times everyones biggest enemy!
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WELCOME [Jun. 20th, 2006|12:03 am]
ryangunnar
WOWWWW! So this is what its all about, the live journal! Theres so many fricking sites out there I think I have hi5, msn space, meetmeinto, tdot wire, and even gino fucking gina! So its great to be a part of this cause unlike hakf the sites I just mentioned this one has my friends on it! AWWWWWWWW hopefully when Elle comes back from the cottage with Helena she'll have some time aside to spoof up this fuck whole of a page into a well fabricated and oiled machine designed to tricking the mindless masses into beliving they can actually learn something about me and my intelligence from reading a few simple blurbs on my LJ! I assure you the only thing you'll learn is how to fail grammer! (cause the previous sentence is way too damn long) anyways im tired and not really up for typing out my "feelings" so until next time im out..............bitches!
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